¿Y cuándo viene Cupido?

Hay ciertas fechas en el año que no logro comprender, en general las que tienen que ver con una obligación sentimental. Navidad es una de ellas, que a mi particularmente me pone muy triste por no disponer de una familia tradicional que llene la casa de alegría y amor (en serio, la navidad la inventó Coca Cola también?) 

La segunda que se escapa de mi entendimiento es San Valentín. Encerrar el amor en una casilla del calendario es despojarlo de toda su espontaneidad, es asfixiarlo...¿Hay que demostrar en un día en concreto lo que no se demostró en un año?

Yo sólo recuerdo un San Valentín, el 14 de febrero de 1999. Estaba en Venecia, un lugar romántico en sí mismo. Pero no lo recuerdo porque haya "celebrado" esta fecha, sino porque caí de casualidad como mochilera con otras dos amigas, a ver su famoso carnaval. Jamás olvidaré aquel día. Y no hubo flores, ni bombones, más bien un frío incontrolable que se me colaba en lo huesos por la humedad y el cual sufrí hasta las lágrimas. Pero el ambiente era maravilloso y pude disfrutarlo plenamente a pesar de estar sin pareja...Sólo me acuerdo de la fecha porque fue ese fin de semana de carnaval.

"San Valentín" no es el 14 de febrero, es más bien los 364 días restantes. San Valentín es tener una conversación así:
- "Cómo estás?"
-"Pfff, agotadísima, he tenido un día de perros"

Y que el resultado sea llegar a casa, que tu pareja te abra la puerta con una copa de vino rosado fresco (mi favorito) y te lleve hacia un santuario con un baño de espuma iluminado por velas que hasta hace horas solo era tu insípido cuarto de baño. Mientras te relajas de tu día de perros, notas el precioso detalle de que tu música favorita está sonando y ves el altavoz del ipod en full swing dándote una serenata. Salir renovada para encontrarte la cena preparada también a la luz de las velas es amor, es el cuidado que el otro percibió que necesitabas y quiso que tuvieras. Todo en una noche de mayo, después de un día agotador en el último trabajo de hostelería que tuve.

San Valentín es que un día cualquiera de julio te estés sintiendo ridícula por ir con los ojos vendados por las calles del centro. Para que de pronto los abras y te encuentres en unos baños árabes prácticamente a solas con tu pareja, (que se lo tenía bien guardado). Y sin más motivo que disfrutar de cómo sonríes cuando te das cuenta de la treta...

San Valentín es el marido que preocupado porque ve a su mujer triste después de una experiencia traumática, la acompaña a clases de yoga. Ella nunca había hecho yoga, simplemente se lo recomendaron. Pero a él ni se le hubiera cruzado por la cabeza probarlo. Claro, antes de esto. Ahora ni se lo plantea: dos veces por semana hace la clase junto a ella, coleccionando risas y anécdotas de lo que les va pasando por ser tan novatos. Estos son unos derrochones, celebran San Valentín como mínimo un par de veces a la semana!!

Tengo una pareja de amigos que sufre una grave condición de sanvalentinitis. Para ellos todos los meses son febrero y todos los días 14. El amor que se profesan se respira en el orgullo con el que hablan el uno del otro, la manera en que se miran, los viajes que planean, el apoyo de los proyectos individuales de cada uno...Si es que hasta juegan en pareja!! Esta gente son un equipo.. y creo que son demasiado impacientes para que les digan en qué día exactamente pueden demostrarse el amor que se tienen. Entonces, dejando convenciones de lado, lo practican todos los días. Y el 14 de febrero hacen una fiesta para todos sus amigos, si igual, para ellos san valentín es todos los días.

¿De qué sirve un ramo de rosas y bombones, si al día siguiente volverá la apatía? Las expectativas son tan grandes que la gente se estresa pensando de antemano si tiene que regalar algo, y de ser así ¿qué regalar? ¿qué es apropiado? Toda la energía se consume en la planificación de algo en lo que se ha puesto demasiado empeño, pero que en muchas ocasiones, no obtiene el resultado que se esperaba. Por lo cual, el desenlace es una frustración doble: el que regala no se siente reconocido y el que recibe siente que su pareja no tiene idea de cómo funcionan sus gustos. Eso es entrar con buen pie, eh!

Mi pregunta es ¿por qué nos sometemos a esto? Cuando es tan fácil hacerle saber a la persona que queremos lo que sentimos con un breve mensaje de texto o una inesperada llamada telefónica, cuando alcanza con sorprenderlo/a a la salida del trabajo o estudios, cuando basta un desayuno en la cama ese día en que el otro está con gripe...Esos actos de amor cotidianos son los que tienen valor, los que nos hacen estar en sintonía con nuestra pareja, son los que construyen cimientos fuertes para cualquier tormenta que pueda llegar a venir en un futuro. Las flores y bombones del 14 de febrero serían el equivalente a paredes de papel, bonitas pero inútiles ante las grandes dificultades.

No estoy en contra de celebrar el amor, simplemente me parece mezquino establecer un día para ese fin. Todos los días son buenos, todos los días pueden ser San Valentín y muchos lo son, por eso cuando llega el 14 de febrero parece que esperamos como mínimo fuegos artificiales...

Así que, celebra hoy San Valentín. Y mañana, y pasado. Celébralo cada vez que sientas que quieres hacerle saber a la persona que está a tu lado lo importante que es en tu vida (y por si no te diste cuenta, los regalos no son necesarios).

A NIGHTMARE BEFORE, DURING AND AFTER CHRISTMAS

(for spanish version click here)

I feel a little bit like the Grinch while I write this post, but unfortunately I can't describe this situation any other way.  

Those who know me also know I'm not very keen on Christmas. I always knew that the root of this feeling comes from growing up in Buenos Aires, where Christmas spirit is a rare commodity. The atmosphere doesn't help, here Christmas is in summertime, there's no snow, there's usually no money for gifts and you picture yourself on the beach, not in front of the chimney. But these Christmas have been by far the worst I've ever experienced.

How can there be Christmas spirit when…

…people have been experiencing blackouts for more than 15 days at a 40ºC?

Some would say I have no right to complain because I haven´t had a blackout (yet), and it's true that I´m very lucky (because it seems that paying your electricity bills doesn´t guarantee a good service). But ALL the people around me have suffered them, sometimes for more than 48 hours in a row. They had to throw away everything they had in the fridge (which, believe me, is not cheap at all with the inflation rates in this country). They had to climb the stairs, sometimes up to 10 flights, and above all, suffer this unbearable heat with no access even to a fan, let alone air conditioning.

 People bear the heat on the shade

 While the elder, children and people in hospitals are “dying” of heat, the President and the leader of the opposition watch the situation from their comfortable rooms in cool Patagonia, during what is known as the longest heatwave in Argentina since 1906.

 Hospitals don´t have paracetamol, linen and basic supplies.

 After all, this is happening due to the electricity companies lack of infrastructure that doesn´t match the growth of the argentinian economy since 2003. This is the excuse given by the minister of infrastructure Julio de Vido who, by the way, has been in the government for the past 10 years (wouldn´t this have to do a little bit with his management as well? I wonder…)

…there's extreme violence on the streets?

During Christmas eve and New Year's eve, Buenos Aires resembles the far west. One could almost hear the sound of burdock rolling on the hot tarmac, but I could live with that. The really scary thing is not knowing if when you go out on the streets you'll come back home alive. This year, the fear started almost a month before, with the violent spiral of pillaging in the city of Córdoba, which had a domino effect in other provinces of Argentina.

A few days later, the “celebration” of the Boca Juniors supporter day meant another opportunity for violence and unpunished robbery, looting and destruction of Buenos Aires city centre.

This year, I experienced fear second hand when my best friend was attacked by a gang of armed men while she was driving in the car with her boyfriend. His first instinct was to put on reverse gear at top speed for 300 meters to lose the assailants. Ana María Castro (29) wasn´t so lucky, as she was shot while she was getting out of her car with her husband on the way to her in laws. In fact, pyrotechnics (which have always been the visible face of the Grim Reaper this time of year), lost their position to guns and other weapons in the city of Rosario, with over 20 deaths only on Christmas eve.

The insecurity climate is no news, I have experienced it since I can remember. A Spanish friend told me once that he didn´t know any Argentinian who didn´t have a personal horror story to tell in this aspect. I have several anecdotes myself, new and old ones. And I also have a great amount of stories from my loved ones that still live here. But the escalating violence of these last few years is unprecedented. Nevertheless, the government insists on calling it “a feeling of insecurity”. To them, this is an invention by the people that are against their policy with the aim to knock off balance the democracy system. A democracy that little has to do with its original meaning.

Looting in the city of Córdoba

Boca Juniors supporter day celebration

…people are so aggressive?

Silent night, holy night, all is calm, all is bright…it seems like a bad joke if you come to Buenos Aires in december. The heat, the end of the year, the anxiety to go on vacation and leave behind the reality suffered for the past 12 months, puts people in the worst mood possible. It's as if we wanted the nightmare to finish once and for all, hoping that next year will be a little less scary. The most common thing is to witness (or sometimes suffer it in your own flesh) insults, aggressions, and sometimes even physical violence. December is the most selfish month of the year. It seems that one is unable to think of anybody else but oneself.

This year, I saw it clearer than ever with the taxi drivers. A few days ago, I got on to a cab and, immediately, another one pulled up next to it. The drivers started to argue before I could even say “good morning”. After a while, and when the traffic lights had already changed a couple of times without the car moving, my driver told me I had to get off because his colleague said I should had been his passenger. Last night I had a similar experience when I friend of mine stopped a taxi and politely asked if the car had air conditioning (which was the main reason to take it due to the unbearable heat). The driver took offence at this question and so, started to insult my friend while stepping on the gas before my friend could even shut the door. My friend's face was a picture. Coming from Europe, he couldn't understand why he had been shouted at for no apparent reason.

We are unable to think of anybody else but ourselves

I understand why Santa Claus erased Argentina from its usual christmas route. Maybe he's afraid that his suit would be stolen and he´d have to do his work bare naked. Or worse still, that his sledge will be robbed and he will remain in this jungle forever. Maybe he's afraid that somebody will blame him for doing nothing all year and now expecting everyone to be happy for a night. I understand Santa Claus, he's used to going to houses where people leave food and drink for him under the tree. If he comes here, he would have to bring food and drink, instead of presents. And maybe he wouldn't even be able to give it to those who really need it, because his sledge would be pillaged…I understand Santa Claus. If I were him, I wouldn´t come either.

This is the only Santa we´ll see in Argentina

In this state of things, we prepare ourselves to greet the New Year with a “celebration” in the city centre. The “drums” will be replaced by pots and pans (a native tradition we started in 2001) and the Christmas carols will be lyrics of anger and frustration, claims from the citizens that had enough of living in the dark, literally. People feel abandoned by their government, and this year it´s been one too many times. That´s how the year will end. With heat, with outrage, with a feeling of impotence…Without access to electricity, water or basic services in hospitals and homes. The worst thing is that it will start, once again, with the wrong foot.

 "If it´s not now, then when?"

It seems the government has a lot to celebrate

Photos by Jonathan Gonzalez Diez.